Jun 16 2009
Without a Map by Meredith Hall - a review
Meredith Hall got money from the A Room of Her Own Foundation, which enabled her to write Without a Map and it’s fortunate that she did. People say that things happen for a reason, and the reason was so that Hall could tell her touching and evocative tale and because she had the talent to do it easily, seemingly. She’s got an undeniable talent that shouldn’t be wasted - which is yet another reason why I’m sure that this award was necessary for her. I picked up the book because the story was so compelling, the writing seemed to draw me in and because Ms. Hall is relatively local - she’s a professor at UNH in Durham and I live near Nashua, NH.
At 16, Ms. Hall met and slept with a young college student and found herself pregnant as a result of that tryst. Ms. Hall was 16 in 1965, and found herself pregnant at a time when unwed pregnancy was generally frowned upon but perhaps was even more so in the rural, conservative, New Hampshire town that she grew up in and was for sure in the Church community that she had been so supported by. She spent the first few months of her pregnancy able to conceal it, but when she couldn’t anymore, she was betrayed by her school (by being expelled), her mother (who told Meredith when Meredith told her of her pregnancy - “you can’t stay here.”) and her father (who chose Ms. Hall’s stepmother over her and exiled her to a room in his home, barring her from leaving the home, and never acknowledging how downright mean he and his new wife could be to her). The story starts with the loss of everything in 16 year old Meredith’s world - school, friends, family, church, future and eventually, her first born child, which was essentially ripped from her arms. The memoir reflects her life long struggle to come to terms with the betrayals - mostly those of her own parent’s to her and her own betrayal of her son, who was put up for adoption, and sent to live in a very abusive household.
She is very honest in this novel, often brutally so, about her perceptions, the words that are used and the feelings that she has but she does it in a very eloquent, classy way. The words that she uses are absolutely perfect. I was hooked. I wanted to know more about this woman and her experiences, how she overcame her great challenges and how she deals with the struggles today. Somehow, she is able to tell her story in such a way that you can tell that she struggle mightily but that she doesn’t expect any sympathy from the reader (it’s more of a take me as I am and here I am!) and I completely appreciate that. She is conveying her own experiences, but it doesn’t appear that she has a political purpose, although one could say that she’s trying to exorcise her demons (I wonder what Paul, the son that she gave birth to at 16 and her other younger sons think about this memoir!). Her memoir doesn’t carry any contradictions apart from the ones that are common to everyday living, which I admired and loved. Her writing and conveyance of her experiences were so beautiful and poignant, that they were often painful and some moved me to tears.
Loved this book and I hope to one day meet Ms. Hall and express my utter gratitude and admiration to her for this work.
Book 36/100
